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17 May 2010 @ 03:05 am
Stuttering...  
I can't sleep and my mind is stuttering. I feel like I have something to say, something to do... but I lay there just listless, yet on the cusp of motion. That's what I mean by stuttering. I'm envious of those who always know what to say or do. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I can be quite decisive. Yet, I think it is just in my nature to be contemplative. Not that they are mutually exclusive. Just that sometimes my decisiveness may be a bit delayed by my contemplative tendency.

Well, since sleep has pretty much abandoned me, I figured I would write in my blog since I have been so negligent in my duties. Not that I haven't wanted to. In fact, I have thought about it quite frequently. See, I started a new job in February. Ever since then, time has gotten away from me. I have a long commute so I pretty much only have about three to four hours to myself during the weekdays. By the time I clean up, eat dinner, shower, get clothes and lunch together for the next day, I'm left with very little free time. I am not complaining by any means. I enjoy my job. It is quite challenging so the days go by quick. I have some great co-workers - some are little more nuts than others, but overall a great group. I am proud of the work I do. I'm currently contracted with the government, working with the Military HIV Research Program. The drama didn't take long to start though. It suffers from the stereotypical government bureaucracy, which is a whole new environment for me and my closest coworker. We started a week apart and have been going partially mad by the insanity ever since. It has gotten to the point where you either adjust and accept, or leave. I'm adjusting - so I have no plans on going elsewhere at this time. I hope he decides to do the same as well, but only time will tell.

My goal was to blog weekly. Honestly, I don't know if I can hold up to that schedule but I'll do my best.

Anyway, I'd like to share a video this week titled "Two Inches to the Right". The words to the video are a poem written by Matt Lloyd, who was attacked in a park by youths with nothing better to do. He was lucky to have lived. He wrote the poem the morning after his attack. Hope you enjoy:


The poem is simple, yet poignant. The message is clear and a bit chilling. As for the video artwork, I particularly like the use of black and white on brown. It has more impact than if it was in full color.

The shame of it is, youth violence is increasing in many communities. There is a bleak future for many of these adolescents. Is it boredom, lack of supervision, or is it anger toward everyone around them that leads them to forget human compassion and hurt another for kicks - with no remorse except for getting caught? I don't get it. I mean, I feel guilty if I kill a fly... let alone harm another human being. Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of wanting to slap someone silly for numerous reasons. I just could never follow through. Not because of fear or cowardice. I don't because it's wrong - and I wouldn't feel good about myself if I had. What is it that has changed, where that wall that stops someone from doing someone else harm, has completely disintegrated? How can we change that? I don't know.

It's not just physically either. What about the disgraceful top execs that knowingly rob everyone blind? Where is their morality? Has greed and power completely taken away all their scruples? It's disgusting, really. They can make all the excuses they want, but the short of it is, they apparently value dishonesty, greed, power over dignity and honesty. They definitely offer a window into the bad side of human nature. I'm looking for some blinds... because I don't want to see this show anymore.
 
 
Emotional Status: discontentdiscontent
Music du Juor: On Top - by The Killers